Grandma doesn’t like babies or baby things?
My husband’s’ mother used to have baby gear at the house for grandchildren who visited such as a high chair and playpen. However a few years ago, she got rid of it all, even though there are clearly still more grandchildren coming. She’s got 6 children, 3 who have children and and 3 of whom still live at home. A few of us with babies mentioned that’s it’s really inconvenient to have to load up playpens and high chairs each time we visit, and asked about bringing those things over there to leave there. She says no because it doesn’t match her colonial decor and she doesn’t like baby stuff around the house. She said she was glad to get rid of all the baby stuff and proceeded to tell me that once you get older like her it becomes more about you. Would anyone else find this quite offensive? She acts as if she hates anything to do with babies. I figure if she doesn’t even like children, then why should I bother loading up my 3 children and all of our gear to go visit her? I don’t think she’s being a very nice or loving grandma at all. What do you think?
She’s not saying she doesn’t like the kids, she just doesn’t want all the stuff at her house all the time. That takes up a lot of space and she’s older, who knows how long she will be around, let her spend the rest of her life in a comfortable home. If she likes her decoration let her enjoy them, she’s earned it after all.
I think she wants her space to be her space….does she have a basement, an attic or garage you could leave the things in? Can you ask her about doing that? Or what about a closet so you can fold everything up and put it away so she can still have her space and you aren’t inconvenienced.
She’s done her time with raising kids…and I assume those with her are older. Let her have her space, she’s earned it.
Yes i agree with you. if she loved and cared for and wanted to see her grandchildren, she wouldn’t have said what she said. Or thrown everything out. If i was u i wouldn’t go visit much, i’d just wait till she comes to your place to see her grandkids.
Yes, it is very sad, and i would be offended too.
I have two beautiful children and my mother isn’t interested either, she sends cards and occasional gifts but doesnt ever see them. Its very upsetting. I know exactly how you must feel.
I have visited my mother and every time i would feel so hurt at things she would say, and the little things that she wouldn’t say. I would end up in tears and i have decided its not worth the heart ache. I would love for my children to have loving grandparents. Is sad, but my little boy loves the lady next door, and has adopted her as his surrogate grandma. Now i just think its my mothers loss.
I think Grandma loves her grandchildren but also loves her home, space and furniture. It’s HER house. Why on earth should she have baby furniture there on the off chance that you’ll visit or you’ll need her to babysit?. Why are you bringing so much stuff when you visit her anyway? Instead of using a playpen, supervise your children. Buy some portable cloth “highchairs” that tie on standard dining room chairs and bring them there instead. Have some respect for somebody else’s house. Your husband’s mother has her own life. She isn’t there to cater to you and your children’s every whim.
I am patiently waiting for the day when I can have the house I paid for back from my children! I love my kids with all I have but they come with a lot of stuff!. I don’t think she doesn’t like children or that she doesn’t want the babies there, it’s probably that she has just reached the age where she can have HER stuff in HER house. Now me, I say I want my house back, but I know as soon as the first grandbaby comes along I’m gonna have more stuff at my house than my kid’s have at their own! Try to respect the fact that although she loves her children and grandchildren, she has spent years giving all of herself and it due some ME time. I know it’s a pain, but pack up all that kiddie stuff and visit. Or, if she has an extra room or closet, maybe suggest that some toys, extra bottles, blankets, pacifiers, diapers, wipes, a high chair that attaches to a grown up chair like a booster seat, and other essentials can be stored in there.
grandmother doesn’t owe you a thing. i can see where she’s comimg from . i don’t want my house loaded with baby stuff either. i raised my kids and now just want peace and quiet. she probably was so sick and tired of her own children messing up the house, and now just wants to relax. maybe she doesn’t want you and the kids to visit her.
Grandma is awesome.
I am looking at my house at the moment, and it’s VERY obvious I have Children. It’s all about the Children here.
When they grow up, this house is going to be all about us.
They are your children, and not her responsibility now. She spent a good part of her life raising her Children, it’s good that she is living now.
We have a crate of toys that we take to the Grandparents house, it’s never really worried me. I know eventually I am not going to care about which Train is Thomas…..
sounds a bit strange but she has every right to say she doesn’t want those things in her home.
And she didn’t say she doesn’t like babies/children she just doesn’t like all the gear cluttering up the place.
How about seeing about her compromising and leaving a hook-on highchair at her place that will store in a cupboard very easily as its small, and you can get them off ebay really cheap
http://cgi.ebay.com.au/CHILDCARE-HOOK-ON-PORTABLE-HIGH-CHAIR-EXC-COND_W0QQitemZ190299627355QQcmdZViewItemQQptZAU_Feeding?hash=item190299627355&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=66%3A2%7C65%3A1%7C39%3A1%7C240%3A1318
(for example)
or get a portable booster high chair seat that is easy to transport and is not only used for grandmas house
http://cgi.ebay.com.au/highchair-portable_W0QQitemZ320359297461QQcmdZViewItemQQptZAU_Feeding?hash=item320359297461&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=66%3A2%7C65%3A1%7C39%3A1%7C240%3A1318
I would probably be a bit p’ed off though too. I don’t really see what the problem is in having a hairchair folded up and a porta cot folded up and stored in a cupboard or in the basement but it is her house so she has the right to do whatever she pleases
My mum has both of these things at her place but they don’t stay out, she or I folds them away into a cupboard or the garage when we leave.
good luck
You could have the opposite problem like me, my in laws buy all this stuff expecting I am going to leave my kids there when there is no chance in a million years I would leave my kids there without me there.
Just get a little portable eating chair to bring with you places.
Otherwise, most people have to lug stuff around, it’s not really their responsibility to keep baby stuff at their house for you to visit. I don’t think that means they are not loving.